Showing posts tagged drugs
How high is the Eiffel Tower? Not as high as I am right now, broseph.  Bonnaroo rules!  Oh, man, where are my sandals? View high resolution

How high is the Eiffel Tower?

Not as high as I am right now, broseph.  Bonnaroo rules!  Oh, man, where are my sandals?

Query: When can you feel the baby move? Usually right after that third shot of peppermint schnapps.  He’s a little fireball! View high resolution

Query: When can you feel the baby move?

Usually right after that third shot of peppermint schnapps.  He’s a little fireball!

Query: Do nicotine patches work? Maybe if you smoke lights, you pussy.  Shit. Those ain’t no stronger than putting your head between your legs and taking a deep breath.  Get yourself some elbow-length gloves and a cigarette holder, Miss Scarlett.  If you’re gonna use the patch, and want to feel it…you’d better put a lipper in, too. View high resolution

Query: Do nicotine patches work?

Maybe if you smoke lights, you pussy.  Shit. Those ain’t no stronger than putting your head between your legs and taking a deep breath.  Get yourself some elbow-length gloves and a cigarette holder, Miss Scarlett.  If you’re gonna use the patch, and want to feel it…you’d better put a lipper in, too.

Query: Why do all my teeth hurt? I’ve been taking extra good care lately.  I must have brushed them ten times today.  Let’s see…I brushed them right when I woke up from that 3AM catnap.  I brushed them again after I took apart the washing machine to look for the bugs inside.  I brushed them again after I put my albums in alphabetical order by producer.  Then I went to Jerry’s and scored another gram.  He didn’t have any toothpaste in his bathroom, so I used my finger and some powdery stuff I found under his sink.  Is that picture crooked?  Ugh, that picture is crooked.  There you go…ah, not quite…SHIT!…Ok, ok, there it is.  God, my fingers itch and I’m so thirsty.  I’m gonna go get a Big Gulp of Dew right after I floss. View high resolution

Query: Why do all my teeth hurt?

I’ve been taking extra good care lately.  I must have brushed them ten times today.  Let’s see…I brushed them right when I woke up from that 3AM catnap.  I brushed them again after I took apart the washing machine to look for the bugs inside.  I brushed them again after I put my albums in alphabetical order by producer.  Then I went to Jerry’s and scored another gram.  He didn’t have any toothpaste in his bathroom, so I used my finger and some powdery stuff I found under his sink.  Is that picture crooked?  Ugh, that picture is crooked.  There you go…ah, not quite…SHIT!…Ok, ok, there it is.  God, my fingers itch and I’m so thirsty.  I’m gonna go get a Big Gulp of Dew right after I floss.

Query: When would a 24-foot boat be required to carry at least one type B fire extinguisher? For fuck’s sake, man!  Will you quit being such a pussy?  We’re on a boat.  There’s water everywhere.  Grab me another Keystone out of the cooler, open the Roman candles, and let’s spark up this bowl. View high resolution

Query: When would a 24-foot boat be required to carry at least one type B fire extinguisher?

For fuck’s sake, man!  Will you quit being such a pussy?  We’re on a boat.  There’s water everywhere.  Grab me another Keystone out of the cooler, open the Roman candles, and let’s spark up this bowl.

Query: Why does my girlfriend ignore me? I mean just last week, I get home from work and she’s blowing this guy on the couch. I said, loud enough for her to hear by the way, “Whew, what a day!” She didn’t even look up. How rude, right? Today I get back from Home Depot and she’s unconscious in a pile of cocaine and vomit. I know she saw me walk in because I was caught in her her dead, glassy-eyed stare as soon as I opened the door. Fucking women, right? Can’t live with ‘em, and they can’t pee standing up. Hey-O! View high resolution

Query: Why does my girlfriend ignore me?

I mean just last week, I get home from work and she’s blowing this guy on the couch. I said, loud enough for her to hear by the way, “Whew, what a day!” She didn’t even look up. How rude, right? Today I get back from Home Depot and she’s unconscious in a pile of cocaine and vomit. I know she saw me walk in because I was caught in her her dead, glassy-eyed stare as soon as I opened the door. Fucking women, right? Can’t live with ‘em, and they can’t pee standing up. Hey-O!