Query: Can the Queen be arrested?
Maybe for rocking too hard! Dynamite with a laser beam! Guaranteed to blow your mind! ANYTIME! What? Oh, the Queen. Nah, she’s above the law. Like Judge Dredd.
Query: What about Bob?
…is a great movie. Where have you gone, Richard Dreyfuss?
Query: When did Elvis die?
Shit, brother! What planet are you on?! The King ain’t dead. He’s alive and well. I saw him pumping gas at the Shell just last night. Died on the can?! Sounds like some more liberal media bullshit.
Query: Where Brett Favre lives?
In the hearts of children everywhere.
Do Jay Z and Beyonce worship the devil?
That ass? Those lips? That hair? That shit ain’t natural. Ain’t God-given. Wouldn’t surprise me if Beyonce made a deal for her goods, too.
Query: Who runs Bartertown?
Query: Why are the Kardashians famous?
It’s not everyday you find beautiful girls with a huge racks in southern California. Wait for it…and their dad is loaded! Someone call Ripley’s.
Query: When does Miley Cyrus turn 18?
About two years after the feds kick in your door and find those photos saved in the folder you’ve so cleverly labeled Tax Returns ‘08.
Query: Why does Jason kill people?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Query: Does Rihanna have herpes?
I am full of the herpes and I finished in her butt. I’m not saying she’s 100% got the herp, but don’t let her tell you that’s just a zit on her lip. No, not that lip…lower. Yeah. Gross.