Query: How to apply eyeliner?

After tucking you package back under your taint and keeping it in place with some twine, slowly pull the stockings over your freshly-shaved legs.  Take care and don’t stretch the fabric, as it is not made for your man-sized upper legs.  Slap your cheeks a few times to bring out that rosy hue.  Now, turn up The Cure and slowly apply eyeliner.  Then…put on a little more.  Take the No. 4 bus down to the docks and stand somewhere conspicuous.  Now…we play the waiting game.